Ranting Review: 'Transformers: The Rise of the Fallen' and Mob Mentality

The movie Transformers: The Rise of the Fallen opens on Wednesday and not surprisingly, the advance screening Monday night was very popular with press and public who were lucky enough to attend. Summer blockbuster screenings are usually pretty crazy to begin with -- they give away many more "standby" passes than theaters can accommodate -- and this one was no exception. The studio rep had to give out wristbands to manage the chaos and reduce line jumping. The next day, the PR company sent a stern reminder to local press about screening/RSVP guidelines.

But what stood out for me, as a veteran of preview screenings, was the mob mentality at its worst. At some screenings, especially when radio stations (co)sponsor the event, there are promotional giveaways. A lot of wily people attend these screenings, and they can be aggressive about getting the goodies. It's problematic to the point that the sponsors try to be equally wily in finding ways to distribute the booty without causing pandemonium. [Ed. Note: Jette recommends you see Jenn Garrison's locally shot doc Prizewhores for a good example of this mentality.]

Last night, the sponsors of the screening attempted to give prizes to audiences members who had stickers under their seats, which resulted in at least a dozen prizes unclaimed. Keeping in mind that Transformers started out as a toy, and the target audience includes children, this ended up in a near free-for-all with dozens of children aggressively grabbing for the toys. At least one girl who received one went back for more, and more than one child returned to his/her seat in tears. My heart went out to one little boy, maybe eight years old, trying not to cry, but not tall enough to outreach some of the other kids within the swarm of grasping hands.

The well-intentioned sponsors need to work out a better system for swag distribution. In this case, they might consider using birthdays, or perhaps a sort of "swag bingo" based on numbers on the wristbands required for entry. As it stands, the promotional giveaway situation brings out the worst in people.

After all that, and a very late start to the movie, we then had to sit through a Michael Bay movie at his worst. Or, rather I did, because half the audience was clearly into it, with lots of laughs and gasps and applause when the Autobots triumphed.

I know that a Bay blockbuster will be heavy on action and explosions and very light on plot. I'm not anti-Bay on principle; I liked The Rock and Armageddon, two maligned films that did what they intended to do. I can be forgiving when watching summer movies, but I can't completely forget my standards. I like a plot I can follow, and dialogue that doesn't make me weep for the fall of civilization.

It's hard to say who is more to blame, Bay or the writers. Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman managed to write a decent, if flawed script for Star Trek. The other writer, Ehren Kruger, wrote Arlington Road and The Skeleton Key -- if not classics, at least decent stories. With any self respect, the writers be hanging their heads in shame, or fighting for an Alan Smithee ruling.

So what happened? It's not that what is ultimately a kids' movie should have the intellectual standards of a literary work, but it's possible to have a good story and dialogue in a family-friendly movie or an action movie, even one with anthropomorphized robots. Shrek had plenty for adults and kids alike, and didn't pander to either. For a good live-action example, check out Shia LaBeouf's breakout film, Holes (adapted by local author Louis Sachar from his novel).

Between the big booms and dizzying swirls of metal is painfully bad dialogue, stereotypes, and more scrotal humor than you ever wanted. Female characters are throwaway except Megan Fox, who seems to be posing for a porn mag rather than actually acting.

That's annoying, but typical Hollywood; what's worse are the characters Mudflap and Skids. Clearly meant as wannabe-gangsta types, they're proudly illiterate, stupid and offensive. Devin Faraci at CHUD sums it up best, calling the characters "Sambots." As someone who loved the "full-on retard" dialogue in Tropic Thunder, and who generally thinks PC guidelines need a liberal dose of lubrication, I still couldn't help but cringe every time Mudflap and Skids appeared onscreen, especially considering that kids are lapping it up.

Transformers 2 is a kitchen sink movie; they throw everything in there, including the kitchen sink, making a big, flashy mess, written with the mentality of a 12-year-old. And it's likely to make money hand over shiny fist.