The Children (1980)

Rated R; 93min; Director:Max Kalmanowicz (1980)
Alamo Website:  Terror Tuesday continues its ongoing educational series on The Evils of Reproduction with this monumentally offensive assault against pre-adolescence. A schoolbus full of singing children (booo) travels through a cloud of toxic nuclear gas (yaaay) but the kids survive (BOOO). Fortunately, their radioactive vaporbath has transformed them into wee annihilation machines who microwave their victims by giving them adorable hugs. After several local residents meet their crispy demises, it’s learned that the rampaging nippers can only be stopped if you cut off both of their hands. This discovery leads to a rich array of satisfying child mutilation scenes. Sure, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but if I have the opportunity to watch a toddler get dismembered, I’m not asking any questions. (Zack)