Review: Chernobyl Diaries

In April 1986, the Chernobyl Nuclear Reactor experienced a meltdown caused by a failed system test. This failed test was accompanied by a power surge, explosions and subsequent exposure of the reactors control material. The exposure of the control material caused a fire, sending a radioactive plume of smoke to be released into the atmosphere. The fallout from this radioactive plume caused the evacuation of hundreds of thousands of people in the areas surrounding the nuclear plant. One of the abandoned places is Prypiat. Prypiat is the city that housed the workers of Chernobyl. This city is now an a empty husk of a city and the setting of the new movie Chernobyl Diaries. 

Chernobyl Diaries tells the story of a group of twentysomethings on an extended trip through Europe. Before they leave for Moscow, the travelers decide to take a day trip to the ghost city Prypiat. Turned back by security guards, the group's tour guide finds an alternate route into the city.

The tour begins with a visit to an irradiated lake where our adventurers find a mutated fish on the shore. As they walk away you can see that there is a lake full of these "mutant fish." Quickly, our fearless travelers find themselves in the city and visit a number of creepy yet visually compelling sites: a rusted-out Ferris wheel, bumper cars in the middle of an empty field, hastily evacuated apartments and abandoned school rooms. Finished with their two-hour tour, the group returns to their van, only to find out it has been sabotaged by some unknown entity. The remaining hour is spent with the group trying to get away from the city while battling mysterious forces.

Chernobyl Diaries starts with an interesting concept, but ultimately fails to execute. This failure to execute begins with the screenplay. Written by Oren Peli, Carey Van Dyke and Shane Van Dyke, the movie has some of the most mind-numbing dialogue in the horror genre. One line that stood out: "Who’s taking us to Chernobyl? My friend Uri. He has a van!"  That line might satisfy a 6th grade composition teacher but is laughable in a feature film. This is just one instance of non-deliberate humor -- there are more, many many more.

Accompanying the bad dialogue is a set of scenarios that seem to be cribbed from the Cliff’s Notes book of horror. A "special forces" tour guide who cannot shoot straight, a man with an engagement ring (you know he’s not long for the movie), a scene where a character is severely attacked yet says "It’s just a scratch" and runs off. 

The worst part of Chernobyl Diaries is the lack of payoff, or should I say a complete ripoff. Throughout the movie we are lured by ghosts in the shadows, strange sounds, mysterious creatures. Basically we have invested our film coin for a payoff that never comes. Let me rephrase -- the payoff does come, but it is an utter disappointment that will leave you scratching your head saying "Are you freaking serious?" An episode of Scooby-Doo has a better pay off than this movie.

Chernobyl Diaries starts with a strong concept. But with a weak screenplay, forgettable performances, plot lines constructed in an incoherent manner and ultimately a ripoff of an ending, this movie is not worth your hard-earned dollars. 

P.S.: While this movie fails on numerous levels, it does have a cool concept, a unique setting (with actual footage of the location) and some interesting scares. If you like lowbrow horror films, you might be able to enjoy this.