Review: Piranha 3DD

In 2010, Alexandre Aja created a surprisingly fun spring-break horror remake, Piranha 3D. Written by two writers known for the acclaimed TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender, critics raved about it. Horror-movie fans enjoyed it, and the film made back several times its budget in worldwide box office. Two years later, director John Gulager has filmed a sequel written by horror veterans Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton of the Feast and Saw series: Piranha 3DD.

Set this time in a water park, the premise of Piranha 3DD is decidedly weaker than its predecessor. In Aja's film, the spring-break crowd at a popular lake is attacked by prehistoric monsters released from an underground lake by seismic activity. Victims in a lake far from shore are vulnerable, and there is much carnage.

Ignoring for a moment that a water park is a sealed system, in Piranha 3DD no potential victim is more than a few feet from an exit at any given time, and most of the pools are quite shallow. Going back to that sealed system I mentioned, a majority of the film deals with how to get the piranha from natural waterways into the chemically treated pools.

Gulager has chosen to go for a more comedic atmosphere, de-emphasizing the horror aspect. As a result, Piranha 3DD definitely differentiates itself from the previous outing. Sad to say it falls flat, as an over-the-top T&A-sploitation lacking in any suspense or fear for the characters, most of whom are more unlikable than one would expect even from this kind of film. The creature design is more cartoony and looks fake, and the fish never seem to even reach their prey. In a Piranha film, the audience should be afraid to even think about putting a toe in the water, while Gulager has these fish tickling people and swimming into their various orifices to take a nap.

Perhaps the worst failure here is marketing Piranha 3DD as the first Piranha film shot entirely in native 3D (Aja's was shot in 2D and post-converted). In fact, anything shot in or near the water looks awful. There were headache-inducing issues with focus, glare and convergence that made many shots virtually unwatchable. Tickets to this shouldn't have a premium charge for 3D; patrons should be paid for having to watch it in 3D.

The best thing Piranha 3DD has going for it is a trio of veteran actors. Christopher Lloyd is always great fun. David Koechner is great as the oversexed proprietor of an all-nude adult water park (which later has NO nudity and is full of kids). David Hasselhoff performing an exaggerrated caricature of himself is worth the price of admission and carries the movie through its disastrous ending. As funny as The Hoff is, Piranha 3DD suffers from its extremely weak fear-factor and underwhelming camera work, and unfortunately never lives up to its legacy.