Review: The Thing

There's a funny thing about 2011's The Thing. A few things, actually. It's funny that the film is almost a carbon copy of its original, which itself was a remake of another film. Yeah, this is essentially a remake of a remake. Though it's marketed as a prequel, and we'll finally get to see what exactly happened to the Norwegians whose station lay abandoned in John Carpenter's class film from 1982, The Thing is still pretty much exactly the same movie from 1982. It's funny how when a movie like this is almost an exact replica of its original how much it makes that film almost unwatchable, but it does. If this film had any other name, it might have been an all right standalone horror film, but The Thing burdens itself with the weight of its predecessor, and it collapses under all that pressure.

During a routine expedition in Antarctica, a group of Norwegians come across a remarkable discovery, something that has never been seen before by human eyes. The man in charge of the expedition seeks out Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a young but surely experienced paleontologist. Upon arriving in Antarctica, it's clear that this is no normal discovery, but once they get their find back to camp, strange things start happening to the crew.

That's also unfortunately where The Thing begins to fall apart. Rather than begin slowly and methodically, the tension explodes in an instant and then before we know it, we're not in a horror movie, we're in an action movie with a monster in it. This in turn creates the biggest problem with the film -- its lack of mystery. With Carpenter's The Thing, the scariest stuff wasn't what you were seeing onscreen but what you envisioned in your head. When Kurt Russell explores the Norwegian camp and you see all the destruction, the things you imagine the monster you've never seen before doing are absolutely terrifying. It's kind of disappointing when you watch this and find out that what happened to the Norwegians is pretty much what happened to the Americans. Nothing more, nothing less, just more of the same.

Structurally, there's another problem here, and this is a problem that movie geek cynics will have a problem with, but it's a problem nonetheless: the Norwegians, or lack thereof. Sure there are Norwegians, a couple of them, and they do in fact only speak Norwegian, but for no explained reason they have two American helicopter pilots, and a host of other English-speaking crew members. It's a minor qualm, but it's there nonetheless, and one that cheapens the movie if you've seen Carpenter's The Thing.

Really the only redeeming quality in The Thing is Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Without having much to go on, she does seem to be the only actor putting forth an effort, which is what makes her great when she's got a decent script to work from. No one else seems up to the task of trying to live up to their 1982 counterparts.

So yeah, it's funny that a movie about an alien that replicates its prey is an almost carbon copy of the movie it's based on about an alien that replicates its prey ... also based on a short story about an alien that replicates its prey and, well, you get the point. We've seen this story before, and it worked best when we didn't know too much about the alien -- this 2011 version exposes too much of it. There's no mystery involved with the alien in this version of The Thing and that doesn't make for a scary film, it makes for a transparent attempt at rekindling interest in a classic film that is still very much relevant today. This "prequel" didn't need to happen, and if you truly love the mystery that is John Carpenter's The Thing, then you don't need to see this version -- in fact, it might only serve to make you angry.