Eenie Meenie Miney Movies: May 2011
Yes friends, it's May, which means the "summer" movie season is upon us. Join me as we hack our way through this month's uneven crop of cinematic offerings for families.
Notable Theatrical Releases in Austin (May)
Hoodwinked Too: Hood VS. Evil (in theaters now, PG) -- Somehow the original Hoodwinked slipped by me, but based on the 11 percent Tomatometer rating for this sequel, I'm not at all upset about it. The trailer for Hoodwinked Too informs us that there's a covert agency dedicated to ensuring happy endings to fairy tales. That's about all I absorbed before a cavalcade of dumb, offensive jokes made me lose interest. No kidding: a two-and-a-half-minute trailer managed to squeeze in multiple fart jokes, homophobia, ageism, racism, out-of-date movie references, and (perhaps worst of all) the hackneyed comedy phrase "awkwaaard!" that South Park lampooned in the Funnybot episode just two weeks ago. (NSFW clip here.) Oh, and they stole one of those fart jokes from Kevin Smith circa 2001 (also NSFW – I should clean up my act). Not that I'm really all that upset about it; the first 10 seconds of sub-par animation told me all I needed to know about this movie. I can't recall seeing a well-written, poorly animated family film. If they're skimping in one department they're probably skimping in all the rest. Check out the trailer to see for yourself.
Kung Fu Panda 2 (in theaters May 26, PG) -- The original Kung Fu Panda took a lot of people by surprise (myself included) by proving that Dreamworks Animation could turn out an entertaining flick. (I'm not a fan of the Shrek movies.) Jack Black returns for the sequel and it looks like good old-fashioned chop-socky fun. Top-notch animation, a paper-thin plot, and predictably base fat jokes -- but that's entirely within the traditions of the genre. Top marks for getting Jackie Chan to return in the part of Monkey. Hopefully this sequel and the 2014 follow-up to How to Train Your Dragon will live up to their predecessors.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (in theaters May 20, PG-13) -- Here's one for the big kids. Some might have scoffed at the idea that the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World could support four movie installments but honestly -- there are plenty of ideas to steal in the canon of pirate literature. This time Captain Jack Sparrow, having ditched Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom for more colorful shipmates, crosses swords with Blackbeard (the perfectly cast Ian McShane, who was doing a pirate impression for most of Deadwood anyway). I didn't see much in the trailer that made me think the script would be winning any awards, but they don't really cut these trailers for dialogue. The film is 2 hours and 17 minutes long, so plan your snack choices accordingly.
Good Burger (May 22 at Alamo Drafthouse Ritz) -- One of Alamo's signature film-n-food events, this Nickelodeon-produced guilty pleasure from 1997 will be served with burgers that will presumably be good. Grab your favorite 10-year-old and go.
Spy Kids (May 28 and May 29 at Paramount) -- Jette leaps in here for a moment to note that the Paramount will be showing Robert Rodriguez's 2001 movie Spy Kids (the first and best in the series) as part of the Texas Film Commission 40th Anniversary lineup during the Paramount Summer Classic Film Series.
Notable Home Video Releases
May is turning out to be a pretty sad month for DVD releases. I can't bring myself to seriously recommend Gnomeo and Juliet or Thor: Tales of Asgard, but there is one bright spot for parents.
The Illusionist
Netflix Instant Picks
Curious George 2: Follow That Monkey! -- The Curious George TV series is one of the best kids' shows out there -- based on a classic franchise, well written, and just a tiny bit subversive for parents' collective benefit. This follow-up to the feature film from a few years ago is on the treacly side (a lost baby elephant trying to find its way home? oy!) but it's mostly cut from the same cloth. Well worth it as an afternoon diversion.
The Secret of NIMH -- A dark classic from the mind of Don Bluth. Probably best for kids 7 or older.
The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!: Part 3 -- If you're not watching this on PBS, you're missing out (so long as you can tolerate the bouncing voice of Martin Short). The posthumous fulfillment of Dr. Seuss' apparent desire to teach kids about science, the show has provided my own daughter with endless fodder for surprising conversations. "Did you know three things that are smaller than an insect? A diatom, an amoeba, and a paramecium."
Rocky & Bullwinkle Season 2 -- Surprisingly accessible to younger kids, and wickedly entertaining for the rest of us. Watch out for puns.