Fantastic Fest 2011, Day One: A Vasectomy and a Porcine Centipede

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Fantastic Fest crowd

Sometimes Fantastic Fest feels less like a film festival and more like a big cocktail party where you know almost everyone there (which never happens at cocktail parties I attend) and oh yes, you can leave the party at any time and go watch some pretty good movies. If only we'd had martini glasses in the tent set up outside Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar, the illusion would have been complete.

I arrived at Alamo around 4 pm, too late for the first round of movies but not too late to socialize. So many people have been returning to this fest year after year after year (since 2005) that it really does start to feel like I know everyone. And that unfamiliar guy over there? Turns out he's that film blogger I've been chatting with via Twitter, here for his first Fantastic Fest. The only problem with this situation is that I have to be careful when writing so I don't sound too "inside baseball" and bore all of you who weren't there.

After more socializing than I normally do in three months, I slipped into a screening of Boys on the Run just to watch the short playing before it, Family Unit. Austin filmmaker Thomas Humphries, the man behind the Blackmagic Rollercoaster production company, directed the film. Blackmagic Rollercoaster has brought us some might strange Fantastic Fest bumpers (the short shorts that "advertise" the fest before each screening). Family Unit is about a family outing in Mayfield Park (I noticed a peacock) and it is, um, not what you would expect. On the other hand, I kind of did expect to be simultaneously bemused and slightly stunned, so I suppose you could call it predictable in that sense.

Next, I headed over to my first feature film of the fest, a French film known as Kill Me Please. This beautifully shot (on black-and-white film) dark comedy is about a doctor who has established a medical center for people who want to die -- sometimes he helps assist them with suicides, although he truly hopes to dissuade them from killing themselves. Unexpected things begin to go wrong at his institution, which is where the dark comedy kicks in. The cast includes Saul Rubinek, who steals scenes delightfully as a brash bilingual Canadian who doesn't understand why he can't just die on demand.

After Kill Me Please ended, I rushed over to the lobby to get in position on the red carpet for the opening-night film, The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence. It was a small carpet with a crowd of cameras and the idea was that the video cameras would shoot their interviews, then the still photographers would have a turn. Unfortunately, the video interviews took awhile and I ended up leaving early to catch my next movie. I noticed Fantastic Fest had a photographer working the carpet so I figured we could use those photos if needed. I did get a couple of pictures of director Tom Six, which you can see in the Slackerwood Flickr set for Fantastic Fest.

Chris Holland had saved me a seat for my next movie, which was not Human Centipede II because as you probably know already, I am Little Miss Squeamish. (Look for a review from Rod in the next few days.) Being squeamish, I was totally unprepared for the bumper that played before the films in this timeslot, directed by former Austinite (and occasional Slackerwood contributor) Nick Robinson. It's the first time I have ever seen a vasectomy up close. And all I can say is, goddamn you, Nick ... which is a slightly less vulgar variation on what Chris and I both said aloud about him after the bumper screened.

I only lasted about 10 minutes into the feature I tried to watch, too. It was not my kind of movie. I felt like the filmmaker had spent too many times watching Robert Rodriguez's Desperado trilogy and Grindhouse. Chris and I both left, and I noticed Debbie slipped out about 10 minutes later. I took a break in the lobby to draft this dispatch, and noticed a familiar face: local filmmaker Clay Liford, badgeless and setting up a video camera with someone I didn't recognize. No, they were not filming Wuss II: Full Sequence. Liford was engaged to shoot some Human Centipede II audience reaction scenes, and had brought Christopher Simpson, who was his DP on Wuss.

Finally I walked over to the opening-night party at The Highball. To commemorate the opening-night film, a buffet was set out with three small whole pigs, who were arranged in a way best described as "porcine centipede." There were also chocolate cookies in a suspiciously excremental shape. You could get a free "laxitini" cocktail but I couldn't find anyone brave enough to try one. Again, photos are available on our Flickr set.

Along with the usual Fantastic Fest regulars, I met two Australian filmmakers at the party -- Oscar Redding and Jonathan auf deh Heide -- who told me about their webcast series Cop Hard, which will be screening tonight before New Kids Turbo. I hadn't planned to see the movie, since 11:30 pm is a bit late, but I did get a ticket for it this morning and may just stay for Cop Hard. On the other hand, Fantastic Fest programmer and TwitchFilm editor Todd Brown told me I really ought to see New Kids Turbo, so I may stay if I'm feeling awake enough.

My other selections for today are Milocrorze, A Love Story; Invasion of Alien Bikini; Summerland; and I may get in the standby line for the wonderfully titled Juan of the Dead.