Review: Conan the Barbarian

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Conan The BarbarianJoining the ranks of this summer's excellent slate of reboots, rehashes and reimaginings is Marcus Nispel's movie Conan the Barbarian, a 3D adventure starring Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Ron Perlman and Rose McGowan. With a story little resembling that of the 1982 hit that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name, the 2011 Conan the Barbarian could best be described as a total reboot. This is not a bad thing, after all -- no sense fixing what was never broken.

The movie begins with a Morgan Freeman Patented Voiceover explaining the backstory about ancient sorcerers, their war with the barbarian tribes and a prophecy about a great warrior born on the field of battle. The first third of the film is therefore an origin story modeled on Robert E. Howard's writings with Ron Perlman as Conan's blacksmith father. Perlman's work here is outstanding, the best acting in the film and perhaps the best of his career.

After the pillaging of Conan's village and the murder of his tribe, Conan the Barbarian jumps 15 years, and Jason Momoa is finally introduced. His is a better image of Conan than Arnold gave us: more catlike, more intelligent and closer to the barbarian described by Howard's original works. The rest of the movie is concerned with his quest to track down and kill the warlord Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), who murdered Conan's father, as well as the other warriors involved.

Nispel shows off his skills as an action director here with a solid fight sequence in almost every scene. Little time is wasted in exposition or idle conversation. This is, however, unfortunately one of those films that gains nothing from being shot in 3D except for the rich detail of Momoa's bare ass in one brief sex scene. The only place 3D was used to any effect was in the opening titles.

The only flaw for me was that the ultimate battle at the end of the film was simply a letdown. It felt incredibly anticlimactic. I wanted something as satisfying as James Earl Jones' dismembered head rolling down those great steps, an iconic and forever memorable shot from the 1982 Conan. Instead, what we get is ... well, not that. If the movie fumbles at all, it is because of this. Likewise, Zym is never adequately threatening to inspire a true sense of dread in the audience. His number-one motivation is to restore his dead wife, a humanizing factor, even if they then plan to dominate the world with evil sorcery.

This version of Conan the Barbarian should make audiences happy. It is bigger and better than the 1982 Conan in just about every way. The sweeping panoramic shots of various Hyborean landscapes alone are worth the price of admission. Momoa is a better Conan, the music is better, the action is more fast-paced and in general the acting is better.

Thank you. Finally a review

Thank you. Finally a review that doesn't totally trash this movie.